Bring more Love into Daily Life
Find out why self-love is so important and how you can master the act of self-love and lift your game and start achieving your dreams.
"To love, be loved and feel loved is the most pure of human emotions and feelings defined." Melanie Lee
How it all started ...
I have recently embarked on a journey to create a business focused on the needs of women who want to achieve … achieve in anything in life whether it be to be a fabulous cook at home to wow friends and family with sumptuous dishes, or to be an elite athlete - a runner or cyclist, or to get that promotion into your dream job, or to be the most organised yet relaxed mum on the planet.
It has been an amazing journey so far filled with great learnings, great experiences, fabulous women, loads of laughs, a few tears (mainly of emotional overwhelm at wonderful stories and joy) and some plain old solid grounding.
When I embarked on this journey I had no idea where it would take me and to be honest it's only very early days, so I'm looking forward to the rest of the journey; what it will bring me, who it will show me and the lessons I will learn along the way. But when I started out I knew I wanted to bring women together so what better way than to do this using technology and trusty Facebook?
I set up a group and invited friends and women I respected and knew would provide some great and honest feedback on ideas I had around developing a business idea. My group grew and feedback was coming in thick and fast and I was loving it. So I decided it was time for a name.
A very dear friend from Uni and my head bridesmaid at my wedding came up with the acronym SMILE. This was followed by a flood of suggestions around what it might stand for.
With so much amazing help I finally decided on Successful Motivated Individual Loved Empowered. But then I thought "it doesn't really say what it is or who it's for," so I added SMILE | Women in Life. I have a long way to go with it all and to turn it into a fully fledged business but I wanted to share with you that my favourite word in what I now call the 5 pillars of SMILE is of course LOVED.
What Loved means to me …
Being Loved to me is very important but let me explain that further as throughout my life its meaning has evolved greatly for me. When I was younger and still at school like a lot of young girls I was very tied up in showing other people love and being accepted. I was also terrified of failing. This I think stemmed from one of my parents being quite a perfectionist and always wanting me to do well. So I found myself always trying to please others and fit in.
As I grew older and worked my way into a career of nursing, I cared for people of all ages, all shapes and sizes and from all different upbringings and backgrounds.
I quickly learnt that everyone was individual and so very different that really no one ever actually "fits in." In fact most people are too tied up in their own lives to really think too much about what you look like, if you're smart, where you come from etc. BUT... what they do remember clearly (and every time) is how you make them feel. From this I learnt that we all want and need to be loved in different ways depending on our situation.
As I then moved to become an occupational therapist and transitioned into management type roles, again I found myself wanting to be loved and accepted by my team. This at times proved to be very difficult as I realised quickly I couldn't be everything to everyone or protect them from everyone and everything.
As I have become a better manager and a specialist in a number of fields I have realised that being loved starts with yourself. But we feel most loved when we are happy and can appreciate, or even notice these signs of being loved even more. I'm referring here to starting with being loved by ourselves, and recognising our own needs and respecting ourselves for the beautiful person that we each are.
I know I am most happy when I am happy with myself and others around me then pick up on my vibe of happiness and join me. When I learnt to love myself for who I am and my own unique qualities that I bring to the world, I got more compliments on how great I look, and people seem to generally want to be around me.
Sure I'm by no means perfect with this and I guess that's the point, I am hard on myself - sometimes far too hard but I have learnt to challenge myself with this and pull myself up when I over do it. It is easy to get drawn into your own negative and self sabotage. But you know what? Its just as easy to pull yourself out of it and be loved not just by others but by yourself too.
Something I read about recently is a fantastic tip we can all use and I thought to close I would share it with you. The idea has been floating around for a while, it's called your "Personal Bill of Rights" which I had heard of before but read about recently in Lisa Phillips book The Confidence Coach - Take control of your life and wellbeing.
Essentially it's a way to remember that you need to be loved too, but first by yourself. In remembering this and acting on it you are showing others you have self respect and that you think you are worth it. Everyone you cross will pick up on this and you will be loved.
Tip to being Loved …
Have a think about what rights each and every one of us have as human beings and list them down. But when you do make them solely about you. Once you've done this and read them back to yourself it will be a great reminder that you need to come first, before you can be loved by and love others. Just like the safety notice when you are on an aeroplane.
You are asked to put your own life jacket and oxygen mask on before helping infants and others - how can you save or love others if you cannot do this for yourself first? An example for one of the rights you might list on your "Personal Bill of Rights" could be …
I have the right to choose what I do with my time and who I spend it with.
Each day try to focus on just one and work on ensuring it is exercised - exercise your right to self-love!