When Being a Bitch is Perfectly Fine
The old double standard that women are lashed with when they are being strong and taking a stand is to call them a “bitch”, yet when a man does the same thing he is being strong and taking a control, still seems to be hanging around, like a bad smell from the 1970’s.
I think as women become more confident within themselves and own the positions of power they have rightfully earnt they are more comfortable in standing their ground and care less about being called a bitch.
But what a great waste of time, energy, potential and effort it is that such double standards still exist today.
Both women and men use the term “bitch” to disempower women, whether it is for a nasty piece of behaviour or for being strong. The reality is, it is belittling to the commentator rather than the target.
When I read the quote by Diana Ross “just because I have my standards, they think I'm a bitch,” I was struck by how current the statement remains. And I started to question how much opportunity and profit is being wasted by such limitations?
When amazing women are being discounted and dismissed with a single term like “bitch” simply because some fragile ego can’t handle a woman standing strong there is always going to be a lost opportunity.
Profitable collaborations and partnerships come about through mutual respect and ability. By doing something as stupid as being part of a double standard that is about disempowering successful people then valuable opportunities are being squandered.
That can only be about loss and limitations.
Working with Amazing Women
I for one am perfectly happy to work with a bitch if that means working with a woman of the amazing calibre of Diana Ross or any other successful woman who is standing strong in her own abilities and responsibilities.
And if that makes me a bitch, then I’m absolutely fine with that.
I’m also fine with it if it means I don’t collaborate or partner with those who think it is acceptable to place limits on adventures, opportunities, possibilities and any of the good stuff because they embrace repulsive double standards.
Instead there are talented and creative women in technology, science, design, education, government, finance and the arts that are perfect to partner with to create something innovative and profitable.
Businesses are grown with smart and vibrant marketing strategies and these can only flourish with a focus on openness, strength in purpose and adaptability.
For businesses to be successful they need to a culture that is enabling and supportive, one that can handle the ups and downs and is able to adapt, and potentially most important, an environment that embraces success and innovation.
And nowhere in any of these is there any scope for the failings that inherently come with double standards.
But there’s another Diana Ross quote that gives me hope when faced with self imposed limitations when she says “instead of looking at the past, I put myself ahead twenty years and try to look at what I need to do now in order to get there then.”
Double Standard Sandcastles
Double standards don’t need to be fixed in concrete. They have foundations in sand and can be as easily wiped away with the next high tide.
It only takes the decision to live a more rewarding life for double standards to dissolve.
When you want to achieve something better than what you’re accepting today you have to learn, to grow, to adapt and to evolve. It happens to all of us as we grow up and start reaching our potential, start figuring out our dreams and how to make them into reality.
When you’re breaking through your own barriers and limitations you realise how hard it is to actually achieve anything worthwhile, just how horrible it is to be on the receiving end of others trying to keep you down on their level and how liberating it is to be around others who are supportive and enabling.
It doesn’t take long to figure out who you’d rather have around you and what sort of person you want to be around them.
It leaves me thinking that those embracing double standards without question must be happy choosing to live smaller lives but I fear it isn’t as simple as that. It is the smallness of double standards that is very simple.
Maybe they aren’t aware of what they are actually doing? Maybe ignorance is bliss for them? And as you learn with loved ones, you can’t change someone else, we can only change ourselves.
So to combat the smallness, the limitations, the failings of double standards look to what you’ll accept and what you’ll call out. Who do you want to stand with? What do you want to accept in your life?
Standing with the Bitches
For me, I’ll stand with the bitches, the women who are challenging the double standards, who are strong, amazing and making the most of what they are doing. I’m fine with being called a bitch because it says a whole lot more about the commentator than me any day.